Hookup Etiquette: Do You Have Breakfast or No?
One of the questions that dominates many hookups is the eternal paradox: do you stay for breakfast the morning after? What if the hookup was good? What if it was bad? What kind of message are you sending by deliberately sticking around after the sex is over?
On one hand, free breakfast (unless you order room service). On the other, won’t it be awkward?
Here are our tips for the morning after. These will help you make the most out of every hookup, even if it already happened.
If it was awesome: STAY.
First, you have to ask yourself whether the sex was good. It’s okay if it wasn’t, but if it was, you’re going to have a lot more incentive to stay. Good sex is worth a lot, and isn’t as easy to find as pancakes. Hookup etiquette first!
Second, do you like the girl? We’re not saying you have to propose or anything, but if you think she’s cool and a lot of fun to hang out with, you might want to see her again. There’s nothing wrong with having a few girls on call for casual hookups, even if you don’t want to date them.
Having a buddy that you can call up from time to time and hook up with is priceless. A permanent hookup is something a lot of guys dream about, but they’re not that hard to get.
If this girl is so awesome you’re sure you want to come back for more, stick around after the first night. Get some food. If you’re at her house and you get up first, cook—but don’t make a mess. If you’re at a hotel, surprise her with room service. She’ll probably be thrilled that you stuck around, if it was as good for her as it was for you.
Don’t make a big deal out of it. Be playful, and excuse yourself after breakfast. If she wants a quick romp before you leave, of course, go ahead and make sure she knows what she’ll be coming back to.
If it wasn’t good: LEAVE.
Not all sex is the greatest. If she was disappointing in the sack, you pretty much don’t have to worry about whether or not you’re going to want to hook up with her in the future. Hookups are all about having the most fun possible, and if she’s crap in bed, don’t bother hooking up with her again.
Another reason to get the hell out of dodge is if the girl starts being clingy. If she sleeps all snuggled up against you all night, or starts calling you pet names, or worse, starts talking about your next date already…
Yeah, you’re gonna want to get the hell out of there.
If you think the night is going in that kind of direction, pack your bag before bed. As soon as humanly possible, sneak the hell out of there.
Don’t leave a note, don’t go back, don’t answer the phone when she calls. Forget about keeping your options open. There are LOTS of girls out there you can hook up with. Don’t tolerate mediocrity when there are plenty of girls who are slammin’ hot that you can get with.
If it was pretty good: LEAVE POLITELY.
Some girls are just hard to pinpoint. Maybe the sex was just okay, but you’re pretty sure that was just nerves and it would be better next time. Maybe she was dynamite in the sack but she had an annoying laugh. Maybe she was awesome, but she said one or two things that put you on edge.
If you’re not sure whether you’ll hook up again but you don’t want to burn that bridge, leaving early is the best plan. However, don’t just sneak out like you would with a girl you don’t want to hook up with again.
You should leave a note. Feel free to use this template:
“Hey, I had a blast spending time with you. Wish I could stay (I could show you a mean pancake), but I’ve got the day from hell today and I’ve got to get started. See you.”
Being busy is the best way to make yourself just available enough for hookups without being overly-available for relationships.
The morning after doesn’t HAVE to be awkward. If you found an awesome girl that you want to hook up with in the future from a fling dating site, this can be the first step to securing a permanent bang buddy. If not, you’re really just out the time for one night stand, and that’s a small price to pay.
So to recap, the rules about the morning after are:
- Stay if the sex was awesome.
- Leave if the sex was terrible or the girl was clingy.
- Leave if you’re not sure—but leave a nice note.