Being away from your lady sucks. Unfortunately, it happens to most of us for one reason or another: work, visiting family, going to different universities, traveling with bros, whatever. There are plenty of things that suck about it—no spending together, no going out to dinner, nothing that doesn’t involve the phone or computer. But one of the worst thing is – no sex. Many of us can’t stand going without sex, when we’re in a relationship with a babe who’s just as ready and willing as we are. Actually, we’d rather not go without sex. And that is why God gave humanity voices, why Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, and why we have the Internet, email, and instant messaging clients.
Timing It Right
Phone sex isn’t appropriate at just any time. You can’t just say, “I’m so hard for you right now,” when your bros are in the same room. (Okay, you could, but we only recommend doing so if you lose a bet and that’s the condition that you have to meet.) You also don’t want Aunt Hilda walking in on you talking about how much you love your lady’s tits or how you want to go down on her. Wait until you’re back at the hotel, kick out the dude you’re sharing a room with if you have to, wait until when any kids your lady might have will be in bed, and, if you’re staying at your parents’ house, make sure everyone else is asleep. Even then, lock yourself in the bathroom.
If your relationship is of the right kind, you can kick things off as soon as she answers the phone and you’re sure it’s her, not her sister who sounds like her. An opener we like is, “Babe, I’d do anything to taste you right now.” It’s not too graphic, which gives her an understanding, and she can read it just as you mean – either a kiss or going down on her. From there, it’s her move.
The nice thing about dirty talk is that you don’t have to stick just to things you actually do. You can tell her that you want to thrust into her while you hold her up against a wall or how you want to finger her, wherever she is. She might be at a club and not actually have an exhibitionist streak, but we guarantee the idea will get her hot. Don’t use words that she’s made clear she dislikes. In that sense, there are limits. Don’t talk about particular kinds of sex, usually anal, that she doesn’t like. It’s a great mood killer.
Off the Phone
The best thing about dirty talk is you don’t have to be away from each other to do it. You can be in the same room and start telling her what you want to do to her or want her to do to you without even touching her. We guarantee it will get her hot. Just remember that you may need to clear off some time to get all that pent up tension out that you′ve been building up.